The modern/post-modern/evangelical/skeptic

1:00am

Tonight like most nights was a late night for me. After a while you begin to see patterens in mood and thought, when you make a habit out of late bed times. Durign the normal hours of the day it is easy to be busy, and wast time with the every day events of life. Its easy to forget about questions, doubts, and lonliness. These things are simply lost in the business of life.

However when you are out when every one else is inside, you are left with something much different. There is no more people, nore more noise, nor more busyness to emerse yourself into. The only thing there is is yourself. When you look around there is nothign knowone, you are left facign your toughest critic, your doubts, fears, and bagage. At 1 am it is impossible to escape who you truly are, and what you truly think.

Tonight like most nights i spent a couple of hours in deep contimplation. I thought about many things. I will spare you from the bulk of it, becaus eit is rather depressing. however i will share a part, a small fraction of a bigger picture of thought.

We all have two things in common. first we all start with a bigining - birth. This is where life starts and where we begin to be formed. Fallowing birth we take place in a journey called life. In life there are many paths that we can travel down, and down these paths hold more paths and more choices. However we also share one more thign in common, an ending. At one point or another we all expereince death. We may do many thigns during our lives, good or bad, but at one point or another, we will all stop breathign and our heart will no longer continue to beat.

As i was lying on the beach i was wondering what the point was. I was wondering if it would be any different if i where to simply be washed away by the waves. At one point or another i woudl be dead, does it really matter if its now, or after more life. Will it really matter once im dead. Is life simply the postponing of a death that is enevatable. Its kind of funny becasue i am a big procrastinator, and in a way life is sort of a way of procrastinating death. We all live to avoid this one thing, but whould we rally know if we where already dead.

not a suicide note, simply a thought at 1:00am

Willis

posted by Mike Willis @ 10:48 PM