Being a learner
today in the gathering i noticed something, everyone was fallowign along in their bibles to the message that was beign givin. They where joting notes and pulling thigns from the message, and thats when it dawned on me...i am not willing to learn.I am eager to learn from others, i am egaer to leanr from their lives, and from their stories, but i can no longer learn from a message or from a lecture. As i was lookign around i realized that i was mising a lot of good stuff, i was failign to take in some good information from the message. I couldn't get into the story becasue i was not fallowing along in my bible.
It is a crappie feeling because i am supposed to graduate in a year, and i am gogin to be responsible for others, i will be responsible for their spiritual journeys. Its hard to imagine this becasue i feel so insignificant, so unworthy to teach, so unworthey to be used, so unworthy to be looked up to.
I know that God uses us even though we are unworthy, and compared to him we are definatly insignificant. These are classic christian sayings and stuff that i am well aware of, but these sayign only go so far. Although i feel very unable to do the job, and extreamly un-prepared, i know that this has to be normal. It just leaves me with a questions, one that i have asked many times. Is the current medium for delivering and retaining the message of jesus effective for a multitude of poeple, or is it aimed at only a small group of people, a group of people who do well in school, the group of peopel who get honored for their outstanding grades, and thier abilitie to retain mass amounts of usless information.
My whole life i have felt insignificant in all of these areanas. I am not a classic learner, i don't enjoy listining to people talk for boring amounts of time, nor do i learn very much from a class room. My whole life i have looked around at every one and felt like crap for beign me, for being different. but when will that all change, who will be the one who changes it.
Today during communion i actually felt good for being me, maybe it was God, maybe it was the bread and juice, i don't know. But for a breif second i felt good about being "dumb". Maybe i am the one who will change the status quo. Maybe i am the one to make the rest of the people fit in. Its true i don't know very many bible passgaes, nor could i get any name right in the bible, except jesus. To many studetns this wont matter, the thing that will matter is the person who actually whole heartedly beleives in the them. The person who will cheer them on despite their D's and Someone who will give them awards for being individuals, and not for being just like everyone else. This is a dream, it is somethign that i wish i could have expereinced, therfore it is my job to make it true for others. shalom.
Mike
posted by Mike Willis @ 5:38 PM
1 Comments:
When you're around some time this week, stop in at the hub and pick up a book from the book shelf behind N8's desk called 'Preaching Reimagined.' I really enjoyed how the author talked about teaching in different mediums and not just conforming to what others do. Doug Pagitt is the author and he does a good job opening up good conversation on different models of teaching/preaching. The book really helped me turn a corner in Moto this year in teaching the way God has wired me and feeling confident in that.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home