swirling
I have so many things swirlign through my mind right now. Life has taken such a huge turn, and it is no longer comfortable. I feel like im challenging every relationship, in some way or another. I want peace but my search for more understandign is bringing conflict around every corner. I bought a punching bag at good will today, and if i could hang it up rigth now i woudl have a go at it. I am coming to the realization that when you change, everyone else does not, and might not agree, and might protest. Some call it growth, i call it hell. I really wish i could retreat from everything right now, i wish i could join a ferturnity and be a wild crazy college student, who was acpected to do stupid things, and not someone who everyone puts THEIR rules on. "why are you doign that i thought you where gogin to becoem a pastor" man im sick of hearign that. I know its a necesary evil, but i just wish i could live life differently if even for a day. I guess i have to pay now to play later, i just feel that peopel are expecting me to mature over night, and not have a normal early adult, college life. I feel as if im not-allowed to be a normal human, but i ahve to be a super pastor, a bitch of those who tithe, and hold theri positions over others who don't "mesure up"sorry for making mistakes, sorry for being normal
willis
posted by Mike Willis @ 8:13 PM
3 Comments:
Willis the swirl will never end it is part of the journey; good and bad!! Have a great trip and enjoy this opportunity
Jeff Wolf
Trellis,
I laughed when you mentioned people saying, "...I thought you were going to become a pastor!"
There was a guy on my floor who grew up in a more conservative home that would see me acting stupid or just being dumb and he would say, "Pastor Steve" with thick judgemental sarcasim. I can still hear that voice... funny.
I guess he didn't approve of my life style, but then again he was a dill.
:)
Pastor Steve
willis,
i always appreciate your honest and candor.
remember that ultimately you're accountable to only One. (though if you are employed by a church you obviously have accoutability to them, and to the Body as a whole)
like steve, i was reminded of a guy in college, but a little different story. he would always get mad at ministry majors for stuff... little stuff, but he would always make cracks like the one Steve mentioned.
i remember one time he got super mad because his roommate left another book on top of his Bible... apparently he thought it important that Bibles never be physically put under other books... (i always wanted to ask him what i should do since i have a stack of Bible... should one translation take priority and be on top of the others?)
anyway, the sad irony is that he date-raped a girl that same semester. it was ugly.
anyway, that situation made me realize that a lot of people have issues with the way a lot of other people lived, but i need to, in good conscience, listen to the perspectives of others, process them in light of my relationship with God, and then move on - sometimes living differently if there was validity, and sometimes just ignoring it, because as "Pastor Steve" (said in his college irritants voice) has alluded to, there are a lot of dills out there.
love ya bro. keep on truckin'...
dan
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