homosexuality and me
I was in Bannana republic today, it was fun. Being in the store carries a sence of liberation. its not liberating as much for me becasue im metrosexual, not homosexual. However, it was liberating in the sene that the workers ho where guys might have been. It was cool because i talked to one of the workers for a while, wich is cool becasue according to the CODE im not supposed to talk to homosexuals....well i did.
I personaly have nothign wrong with people who choose a homosexual lifstyle. It is no diferent from the sinnful path i have chossen. There sin carries more wheight in our culture but it shouldn't in my heart. I really want to become close friends with someone who is homosexual..it woudl be a friendship that could start the healing betwean strait and not strait.
I was thikning how fun it would be to work at the bannana republic. I would enjoy befriending those who work there. It would also be fun to make everyone think i was gay, becasue im not...i don't know why that would be fun, but i can allready here the rumors...did you here mikes gay....that would be funny. then in the future when i marry an awsome women it wil throw everyone off..yup...im wierd like that.
trellis
Mad
i hate being so angry all the time. why am i angry.
Im angry becasue people don't like different, they have a sick twisted obsesion with the norm. For some odd reason the norm seams to be radicle to them...hmmm
Today i was told that there is a fine line betwean being radical and being rebelious...this is funny to me. because this was someone who was basically tellign me that i was just being rebeleouse..that everything that i am doign is selfish, and im doing it just becasue i want to.
This felt like an attack on my heart.
i am simply trying to make sence of a life that is not so perfect, and not so clean and not so mechanical. but everyone around me thinks that becasue im thinking in terms of 2+2could equal 3.they freak out. CANT BE. YOU ARE BEING REBELIOUS. hmmm.
I find it impossible to have a conversation without being attacked any more.
what people fail to realiaze is that its easy to defend the norm..its easy to defend a system that has been arounds for years...but to attempt to change isn't easy..its not easy to defend why i do what i do..it migth not make sence on paper..but im sick of living on paper..I feel that what im doign is more rigth..is it right i don't know..but i know that what i was before sucks.
in order to be radical don't you have to make change...and isn't change in a way a rebelion...can we just not use the word rebellion. its to condeming. im not rebelling im just changing..evolving..tryign to make at least a little bit of sence.
hmmm..
trellis
for real this time
okay this one is for real i can actually concentrate for a brief minute, well a little.
so college is going, well bad, but i am trying to make the best of it.
im working at the buckle, its a sweet job, i really like it.
not really helping in a ministry anywhere" besides my life as a ministry", wich i guess its kind of like a break before the big shebang, but i still don't like it.
I have one week left of school, can't wait.
i have a ton to do but I'm not sure how much i will get done.
I can no longer type in paraghraph form becasue im gramatically burnt out.
besides all that negitive stuff, i am doign al right. i feel that i am truly pushing the boundrys of what my thoughts on life are. I feel that i am in a cacune and i am evolving into something beautifull...the process seams to be long and never endign, but i like ti that way. Im not sure i want any answrers, just better questions, questions that will help others and not just myself. I feel that i have been servign myself a ton lately and i don't like it. well i better get into the shower, peace yall.
trellis
Well i don't know what to say
i suck at posting
i suck at college
i love bunnys
and warm snow pees
im gogin to go watch some super trooprs
whats up with the ADHD stuff are you tryign to tell me something
i hate snow
trellis
